The Best Salad of All Time

Russian Crab Salad

Aside from potato or pasta salad, Americans tend to assume all salads involve lettuce of some variety. In many places in the world, lettuce is not readily available, for example Russia and Ukraine, so they make salads using other things. As my wife is Ukrainian, I've had lots of these delicious lettuce-free salads. This recipe for crab salad is one of my favorite dishes in the entire world, something I've been known to consume in gluttonous amounts.

Before I get down to the nuts and bolts of the recipe, I should mention one vital thing: while this recipe is good with standard American mayonnaise, if you can get your hands on Russian mayo, it will make this infinitely better. Somehow more flavorful and slightly sweeter than it's American cousin, it complements the flavors in this dish very well.

Where, you may ask, can one procure said mayo? Well, if you're in Kansas City, try European Delights at 95th and Antioch. They have just about everything you need for authentic Russian cuisine...

(and sorry for the metric units, but it's a European recipe after all)

Serves: 6-8
Prep Time: 30 min

1 cup of dry Basmati type rice
4 eggs
250-300g imitation crab meat (or real if you can afford it)
1 can sweet corn (250g)
1-2 gherkin cucumbers
3-4 Tbl mayonnaise, preferably Russian-style
Salt to taste

-Cook the rice and hard boil the eggs, allow to cool
-Cut crab meat, cucumbers, and eggs into small 1/4" cubes
-Drain corn and mix with crab, cukes and eggs in a large bowl
-Add mayo and salt to taste (not too much or it will leech the water out of the cucumber, making a soggy mess)
-Cool for at least 1 hour

As I said, this dish is fantastic, sure to be a hit at your next dinner party. And as simple as it is to make, you should definitely make it...

Scorecard
Taste: 5
Ingredient availability: 5
Cost: 3.3
Time: 4
Ease of Preparation: 5
Total: 22.3
Average: 4.46

A Hidden Gem

Governor Stumpy's

Governor Stumpy's at 321 East Gregory Blvd, is one of those hidden gems that dot the landscape of any major metropolis. Not really on a major thoroughfare, it doesn't have anything to really attract your attention. In fact, if you don't live in the Waldo/Brookside area, there's probably a good chance you are completely unfamiliar with this place. But, that's what I'm here for, to enlighten you...

A family-owned place, Governor Stumpy's has one of the best atmospheres in Kansas City. The dining area, while nothing special, is inviting and relaxing, and if the weather is nice, they have one of the best patios in the area. The staff is super-friendly, and not in that annoying "please leave me alone, I haven't even looked at the menu" kind of way. They seem to have figured out the perfect balance of waiting on you and leaving you alone, a truly rare feat amongst servers.

As for the food, the food is excellent. As I mentioned in my Westport Flea Market post, Governor Stumpy's has some of the best burgers in town. While I normally like the Frisco Burger, which is a patty topped with sauteed onions, thousand island dressing, and American cheese on sourdough, this time I went for the #7 California Burger. I'm not really sure what the #7 refers to, but it comes topped with avocado (why does adding avocado make everything California?), jalapeno and cheddar with a side of fries. Their burgers are juicy and flavorful, with a perfect balance of spices, creating a flavor harmony between the meat and the toppings, with each complementing each other, rather than one dominating.

Natasha is a fan of Governor Stumpy's pizza, so she ordered the Mamma Mia, a thin crust pie topped with alfredo sauce, your choice of smoked chicken or shrimp, red onions, tomatoes, and black olives, topped with a blend of cheddar, mozzarella, and provolone. The pizzas come in a 9 inch size, so they're perfect for one if you're hungry, or can be split by two if you just want a nosh.

I'm normally very picky about my pizza. I hate most of the national chains for various reasons I won't go into here. Thus it's hard for me to find a pizza I truly enjoy. So believe me when I say Governor Stumpy's pizza is good. It's not great, but it is definitely better than most places out there. The way I would describe it is, it's like a good pizza you would make at home, if you knew how to make a crust that didn't suck. Their signature pizzas are clearly well thought out with toppings that harmonize well. And they have enough choices to satisfy even the most discerning palate.

That said, Governor Stumpy's has a good menu. They offer standard American fare, pizza, steaks, burgers, and pasta, with everything being well planned and executed by the kitchen staff. Prices are very reasonable, we spent only $28 + tip, and we had drinks as well.

It's obvious to me why this place has such a loyal following in the neighborhood. Full of regulars, everything about this place makes you want to come back again...

Scorecard
Food: 4.5
Atmosphere: 5
Service: 4.5
Menu: 4
Price: 5
Total: 23
Average: 4.6

(I'm gonna have to start giving some negative reviews, I'm starting to sound like Guy Fieri, "that's awesome, that's really good", is there anything he doesn't like?)

http://governorstumpys.homestead.com/stumpy1.html

The Best Burger in KC?

Westport Flea Market

Westport Flea Market at 817 Westport Road is as much a part of Kansas City culinary culture as Gates and Arthur Bryant's. Voted the best burger in town 25 years running, the Flea Market has played a part in Kansas City life for many years. It was the site of current mayor, Mark "Funky" Funkhauser's election party, it hosts the Kansas City Chess Club's weekly events, and it even has claim to it's very own serial killer, with Bob Berdella having run a booth in the actual flea market prior to his capture.

I've been here before, but I thought it was time to write a review. For the first-time diner, it can be a little difficult to figure out just what is going on here. First of all, when you enter, there is a flea market to your left. Ignore that and make your way to the bar. In the back, there are tables with menus, which you can peruse at your leisure. However, don't expect a waitress to come and take your food order. While the waitresses will bring you a drink (they have lots of beer on tap), you have to go to the bar to place your food order.

After placing your order, and paying with cash (they don't take plastic, though there is an ATM with a surcharge that borders on extortion), you head back to your table to await your food. Aside from the famous burgers, the Flea Market offers the same type of fare you can find at bars around the country, chicken in various incarnations, steaks and lasagna. I've never had the fried pickles, but I've been told they are great. Prices are reasonable, about $8 for the giant 10-oz burger.

When your food is ready, your name is called over a loudspeaker and you go and pick it up at a window. You can then top it yourself a la Fuddruckers from a topping bar. Topping selection is limited and sub-par, with limp tomato slices, yellowish mayo, thousand island dressing, iceberg lettuce (the worst of all lettuces), onions and pickles. Mustard and ketchup are available on your table.

Burgers come with homemade curly fries, which are decent (and I hate curly fries normally), or your choice of coleslaw or some other things, I'm not really sure what, as I only get the fries. You also get to choose from several varieties of cheese to top your burger.

As for the burger, well I'm going to make a very controversial statement here: (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) Over-Rated! While they get points for using ground beef from McGonigles, one of my favorite stores in KC, they're simply average. Sure, they're juicy and well cooked, but flavor-wise, they're simply nothing special. In fact, I find them to be on the bland side. They're underseasoned, quite frankly. I understand the beef being the star of the show, but at least add some salt and pepper. Spices are meant to enhance flavor. Without them, things tend to be rather tasteless, just like these burgers.

Well, how, you may ask, have they been voted best in KC for the past quarter century? I have a theory about this, it's called groupthink. People fall so in love with the idea of something, and how everyone says it's the best, that they convince themselves it really is that great. Or else they're afraid they'll be mocked if they disagree...

Now don't get me wrong. The burgers from Westport Flea Market are something every Kansas Citian should try at least once, but overall, I can think of two or three places off the top of my head that have better-tasting burgers (Governor Stumpy's for one).

See what KC Lunch Spots had to say about it here.

Scorecard
Food: 2
Atmosphere: 4
Service: 2
Menu: 3
Price: 4
Total: 15
Average: 3

http://www.westportfleamarket.com/index.html

My Favorite Restaurant

Maya's Mexican Bistro

Once upon a time, there was a recently-graduated student with a virtually worthless liberal arts degree. Unsure what his future held, or for that matter, even what industry or career path he wanted to pursue, he foolishly answered a job posting on Monster.com calling for "sports minded individuals" that promised big money and a fun and exciting job. As it turned out, the company who hired him was part of a larger cult-like company, which offered the "fun" job of working 10-hour days, cold-calling, door-to-door sales for 100% commission. As you may have imagined, after less than two weeks of having doors slammed in his face and being told to go to hell, our hero decided this wasn't the job for him. With less than $400 to show for two 50+ hour work weeks, he cut his losses and moved on. But on the bright side, the job did introduce him to Maya's Mexican Bistro at 12921 State Line, so it wasn't a total washout...

Maya's is quite frankly, amazing. I've been here several times, but since I moved, it's a bit further of a drive, thus I don't make it here as often as I might like. It's a bit far south for a lot of people, but as anyone who has eaten here will attest, well worth the drive.

Maya's, while calling itself Mexican, isn't really... It's more of a Southwest fusion, with Mexican, American and Italian influences. The decor is a classy take on the traditional Southwestern style of most Tex-Mex places, with a stronger influence on Arizona and New Mexico than the Lone Star State. Nothing spectacular, but at least unique from the On the Borders of the world.

The first thing about this place that will really hit you is the salsa. Homemade, it has a subtle smokey flavor, unlike anywhere else I've been. This flavor is the result of smoking the tomatoes for the salsa in a home-made smoker in the back (I know this because I asked). It has a nice kick, without being overwhelming, and pairs nicely with their freshly made tortilla chips.

The guacamole is supposed to be awesome as well, though not being a fan of the green stuff, I've never ordered it. I have, however, seen it prepared. Your waiter or waitress will bring out the fixings and prepare it table side, giving a nice show to you and your surrounding diners. I think Gordon Ramsey would be proud ...

As for the rest of the food, the menu has a lot of variety, and all of it is truly fantastic. Natasha always orders the same thing, a smoked chicken and chortizo torte. Made with smoked chicken, choritzo, portabellos, and roasted red peppers (didn't I mention the Italian influence?), it's served on a fried flour tortilla, which is then topped with a mozzarella-asiago blend and baked in the oven. The flavor combinations are really top-notch, thus making this an instant favorite.

As for me, I like to surf the menu, trying various things, both specialties and ala carte. This time I choose the shrimp and spinach chimi. While normally rather indifferent to chimichangas, this one was different. With shrimp, spinach, garlic, roasted red peppers and mozzarella in a lightly golden chimi, it was served over queso espinica with a side of Spanish rice. Very, very delicious...

There's a sign out front proclaiming Maya's to be home of Kansas City's favorite margaritas, but as they're pre-mixed (yes, I asked), I'm not sure how this can be. They're good, but nothing different from a standard margarita anywhere else. Still, this doesn't detract from this place, which is unequivocally my favorite restaurant in all of Kansas City.

As for the service, it was good, above average. Prices are slightly higher than most Mexican chain restaurants, but well worth it. Do yourself a favor and try this place as soon as possible.

Scorecard
Food: 5
Atmosphere: 4.5
Service: 4.5
Menu: 5
Price: 4
Total: 23
Average: 4.6

http://mayasmexicanbistro.com/

The (Other) Windy City

Pizza Man

A few weeks back, a friend of Natasha's recommended this place to her, claiming they had the best hot dogs this side of Chicago. Never ones to miss out on that most-American of delicacies, we decided try out Pizza Man at 10212 Pflumm in Lenexa on hot and sweltering August Sunday.

En route, I received a call from my friends Zack and Donovan, apparently Donavan's alternator had decided to give out, thus stranding them in the concrete jungle known as downtown Overland Park. Being the generous friend I am (and ever so humble), we swung by Firestone and picked them up, inviting them to join us on our latest culinary adventure.

Pizza Man has a terrible location. In a strip mall just north of 103rd street on Pflumm, it's also about 2 blocks from Stonewall Pizza, and close to pretty much nothing else. With Pflumm having no easy access to either 435 or 35, it's a road I rarely travel. But, secure in the knowledge that this was where Pizza Man was located, thanks to a print-off of Google maps, we had no difficulty finding the place.

Clearly Pizza Man prides itself on its Chicago roots. When you enter, the entire place is painted in Cubs blue (which is like Kryptonite to me, a Cardinals fan), and decorated with Chicago-themed prints and Cubs logos. One whole wall is dedicated to a mural of notable Chicago athletes, including Ernie Banks, Walter Payton, Bobby Hull, and of course, Michael Jordan.

We placed our order at the counter with a man, probably the owner, wearing a well-worn Cubs shirt. The menu offered several types of hot dogs, including the requisite Chicago Dog, several hot sandwiches and pizza. Prices were very reasonable, the hot dogs were around $3 each, sandwiches $5, and pizza, depending on size anywhere from $5 to $12, or so. Natasha and I both choose Chicago dogs, and we split a small pizza, mushrooms and Italian sausage, which the man behind the counter assured me was their best topping. Zack choose a combo sandwich of pork and beef sausage, and Donovan had a hamburger pizza. We all choose Cherry Coke, which in case you weren't aware, is the greatest drink available from a soda fountain.

As the food is cooked to order, we had a little while to wait before we received it. This was fine with me, as it gave me a chance to try out the Mortal Kombat II video game. Not having played this game since, oh about 1993, give or take a few years, I remembered none of the moves and proceeded to get humiliated in the first round. Luckily, Donavan, who prides himself on his video game prowess, also suffered a loss. Neither one of us remembered that game as being so difficult.

In relatively short order, our food arrived. The Chicago Dogs were spot on. I've had lots of hot dogs in my life, but these were exactly how I remember them in the Windy City, right down to the poppy seed buns, the unnaturally green relish, and the all-beef wieners. Yep, this was a Chicago Dog all right, and a good one to boot.

The pizza was also a good choice. Though I have to admit, it was different than I expected. I was thinking Uno-style, deep dish pie with the sauce on top. This was more like a thin St. Louis-style crust, but it was cooked perfectly, with just the right amount of crunch without being burnt. The sauce had a slight zip to it, and I'm pretty certain it was home-made. They used fresh mushrooms, which is extremely important to me, but the real star of the show was the Italian sausage. Normally Italian sausage is hit-or-miss with me, as most places overdo it with one or more spices, usually fennel. Not a problem with Pizza Man, they perfectly walked that tightrope, and added just enough fennel to season the meat without overpowering it. Very well done...

But as Lavarr Burton would say, don't take my word for it. Read KC Lunch Spots' review here.

Scorecard
Food: 5
Atmosphere: 3
Service: 4
Menu: 5
Price: 5
Total: 22
Average: 4.4