The Dining Perils of Sloth

I had to work on Saturday. As I'd been out the night before, I woke up late and needed a coffee and some food. With nothing in the house for breakfast, and lacking the proper motivation to brew coffee, I decided my best option was to hit up a gas station en route.

Now as the gas station closest to my home has been known to forget to add heat to the spinning hot dog/taquito wheel, I decided to hit the 7-11 at 89th and Wornall, even though it was slightly out of my way, for a pair of reasons; 1. their coffee is okay, and they always have the added caffeine shots, and 2. if you want a hot dog or taquito, you have to ask the clerk, thus no kids playing around with my food before I get there.

After filling my coffee, I had a gander at the spinning wheels thing, and decided to give the buffalo taquitos a shot. This is them:

They don't look so bad, right? And buffalo chicken's almost always a winner right? Maybe not.

As I ate these two taquitos, which cost the grand total of $2.22 for both, I got the feeling that I was eating food inside the matrix. That is, I felt that there was nothing natural about these fried meat and cheese sticks. There was nothing actually resembling natural flavors involved, and I mean nothing, not the meat, not the sauce, and definitely not the cheese. I wouldn't be a bit suprised if this particular "food" had been shown to cause cancer in lab rats.

While 7-11 doesn't offer nutritional information for this particular item on their Web site, I have to imagine it reads along the lines of: partially hydrogenated corn oil, monosodium glutamate, mechanically-separated chicken, rat feces, cockroach eggs, and a host of other unsavory ingredients.

While the meat and crust were bad, the cheese, was definitely the worst. It made those crappy, imitation-Kraft American cheese singles taste like the finest wedge of brie.

But thus was my breakfast, nothing like starting the day off on an artificial foot. And like and idiot, I didn't eat all day. If I was smart, this would teach me my lesson, and I will stop eating from gas stations. But then, who ever said I was smart...


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Never Disappointing

La Cucina di Mamma

A few months back DLC wrote a review of La Cucina di Mamma, at 6227 Brookside Blvd., a place that I've frequented on several occasions. Though he wasn't overly impressed with the cuisine, I've had a good experience every time I go there. My last foray there, on Friday night, was no different.

Prior to heading to a concert by my third favorite MC of all time, Murs, my lovely wife Natasha and I decided to hit up this neighborhood favorite. Located in a trio of interconnected businesses, including an Italian deli, an espresso shop, and La Cucina di Mamma, Mama's Kitchen, as it were, has a certain quaint charm.

La Cucina is a tiny spot, but that intimacy only adds to the charm. While we'd been here for lunch and the sandwiches which DLC was unimpressed by, we happened to like them very much. This, however, was our first experience with dinner cuisine at this particular establishment. With a limited menu of perhaps 15 choices for dinner, prices ranged from $6-8 for appetizers, $10-16 for entrees, with beers and wine around $4-6 per serving.

One thing I noticed, however was that apparently they don't offer the sandwiches in the evening, because the Italian sausage panini which I am such a big fan of was noticeably absent.

Nevertheless, we decided to start with an appetizer, of which I've missed the Italian name,

A pizza, again, I missed the name,

And the tiramisu for dessert.

The appetizer was good, a rustic dish of toasted Italian bread topped with olive oil, sardines, fresh mozzarella and caramelized onions. Garnished with fresh parsley, it was a simple, elegant starter. With complementary pieces, this is a dish I'm sure I'll mimic in the comfort of my own kitchen. My only issue with it, in fact, was that the Italian bread was ever-so-slightly burnt on a few pieces. This notwithstanding, it was an excellent choice.

The pizza which followed after, was also a good choice. In all likelihood wood-fired, this pizza was great. A thin, flaky crust topped with a slightly sweet sauce, prosciutto, kalamata olives, mushrooms, artichoke hearts and cheese, was quite delicious. The crust was really, really good, and the toppings were well thought out and unique, while fitting in with the theme of the restaurant. My only issue with the pizza, was that it could have used a little more cheese, though that is a small issue when compared the overall dish.

Of course, enjoying this pie, brought back memories of the debacle that is La Cucina's Brookside neighbor, Blue Grotto. The nearest comparison I can make between the two is that La Cucina di Mamma is like Warren Moon, a great football player who very quietly put together a Hall of Fame career, while Blue Grotto is Ryan Leaf, a highly-touted draft pick who couldn't cut it in the pros and quickly disappeared from the league. Without question La Cucina wins the pizza battle of Brookside...

For dessert, Natasha insisted we have the tiramisu. Very moist with a hint of coffee liqueur and a strong flavor of cocoa, this was a good dessert, though not great, but then again, I don't have much of a sweet tooth.

As for the service, the waitresses were great, very polite and friendly, though the kitchen could have been a bit quicker (though I would prefer slow food cooked properly than rapid service that is slop).

Overall, I really like La Cucina di Mamma. It's in Brookside, which is my favorite KC neighborhood, and the food is never disappointing. You should try it next time you're in the area...

Scorecard
Food: 4.4
Atmosphere: 4.5
Service: 4
Menu: 4
Price: 4
Total: 20.9
Average: 4.18

(Sorry everyone for the low-quality camera-phone photos :-)

On the Bayou

Jazz - A Louisian Kitchen

So I learned something new today. Apparently Jazz - A Louisiana Kitchen, is a chain restaurant. I knew there was one at the Legends, as well as the one at 1823 W. 39th Street I've always frequented, but apparently, there are five other locations as well, including one in Columbia, one in Omaha, and three in Texas. How did I miss that all this time?

Anyway, the last trip, we went to Jazz about mid-afternoon to avoid the crowd. Having tried the previous weekend, only to be thwarted by a large crowd and a live band, the restaurant was sparsely populated, all the better for us.

Strangely enough, as we were being seated, the hostess for some reason had led us in a circle, before leading us to our table along the wall. Not sure what that was all about...

The walls one of the most interesting things at Jazz, being entirely covered in graffiti, a la the original D'Bronx location.

While you're waiting said graffiti is quite entertaining, with interesting tags like "Christy is hung over. So is Dan. Happy Sunday."

Of course, you don't want to get too distracted. The menu is huge and bread with a spiced butter usually arrive while you're deciding.

With a menu offering so many choices, it's got to be difficult for the cooks to remember how everything is prepared. Unfortunately, this means while some items are fantastic, some are just mediocre. While I like the food at Jazz on the whole, they've definitely dropped the ball on a few items.

However, the seafood gumbo, which we started with, is not one of them.


I LOVE seafood gumbo. Spicy broth with pieces of crawdad, white fish, shrimp, celery and pepper, my only issue with this was that I only got a cup, when I clearly should have gone for the bowl. One of my co-workers who was born-and-raised in Louisiana, swears that Jazz has the only authentic gumbo he's found since moving to Kansas City.

The fried oysters, on the other hand, were disappointing. With visions of the sauteed oysters from Tatsu's swimming in my head, I was not pleased with the heavily battered and deep fried things placed in front of me. With the consistency of a box of gizzards from Go, Chicken Go, the only flavor they had was from the breading and the oil. The oil, apparently isn't changed very often, because it lent the oysters a burnt shrimp flavor. Served with Cajun coleslaw, whatever that is, and a trio of overcooked, dried-out hush puppies, this is not an entree I'll be repeating.


Natasha opted for the crawfish creole, which was much better, though too spicy for her. Tomatoes, peppers and onions and crawfish, with dirty rice the side is of what this dish comprised. Good melding of flavors, nice texture, and a clearly cajun recipe, I enjoyed it thoroughly. She, on the other hand, downed her drink and grabbed my beer to calm the burning. Good stuff, really.

Aside from the oysters, our entire experience was pleasurable, though our server could have been more attentive. However, as it was around three o'clock in the afternoon, I can't blame him. Having worked in restaurants, I'm fully aware of the screwing around in the kitchen and excessive smoke breaks that afternoon waiting entails.

Additionally, prices are higher than your average casual-dining restaurant, around $13-15 for most entrees, but generally worth it.

Overall, I like Jazz, but like I mentioned, while sometimes they hit a homerun, other times they strike out. In addition to the gumbo, I'm also particularly fond of their Po'boys, all of which are delicious. I'll definitely continue to patronize this restaurant, but I wish they'd trim their menu and eliminate the duds.

Scorecard
Food: 3.2 (minus points for inconsistency)
Atmosphere: 4
Service: 2.8
Menu: 4
Price: 3
Total: 17.0
Average: 3.4

http://www.jazzkitchen.com/

A French Classic

Last week, Owen Morris of The Pitch's "Fat City" blog, posted this entry, his weekly entry detailing his culinary studies. As the main item this week was coq au vin, or wine-braised rooster, it piqued my interest and I decided to make this dish myself.

Below you will find a step-by-step detailing of the cooking process, with special thanks to my lovely wife Natasha for her photography. The recipe is a composite from several we found.

Coq Au Vin

What you'll need:

1 bottle red wine, I used Cabernet because it was on sale, I've heard a slightly sweet Pinot Noir is good to use as well.
2 cups chicken broth
Herbs de Provence (I used 2 bay leaves, a handful of fresh parsley sprigs and some dried thyme)
1/4 lb thick-cut bacon, cut into 1/4" pieces
2 lb chicken thighs, bone-in
5 Tbl unsalted butter
18 pearl onions, stems, roots, and outer skin removed
8 oz baby bella mushrooms, quartered
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbl flour
2 Tbl tomato paste
salt and pepper

Step 1: Assemble the ingredients.


Step 2: Cut and blanch the pearl onions.


Step 3: Brown the bacon in a Dutch oven, leaving the grease.

Step 4: Meanwhile, simmer the broth, wine and herbs until reduced by half.


Step 5: Season the chicken on both sides with salt and pepper. Brown in the bacon grease.

It should look like this.

Step 6: Remove the chicken to a plate, leaving juices in the Dutch oven. Add 3 Tbls butter. When foaming subsides, add onions and mushrooms, cook until lightly browned.

Step 7: Add garlic, cook until fragrant (approx 30 seconds). Stir in the flour and tomato paste. Stir until well mixed. (Sorry, no photo)

Step 8: Remove herbs from the wine-broth reduction and add reduction to the Dutch oven. Scrape the pan with a wooden spoon to release any flavor-crunchies stuck to the bottom.

Step 9: Return chicken to the pot.

Step 10: Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to medium-low. Simmer, covered for 25 minutes, stirring once.

Step 11: Remove chicken to plate, tent with foil to keep warm. Raise heat on sauce, until thick, stirring in remaining 2 Tbls butter near the end. Season with salt and pepper to taste.


That's it, you're done, plate and serve. While this is a fairly complex recipe, nothing about it is really difficult, it's just time consuming. Of course if you were using a rooster, as the original recipe calls for, you'd need to braise the chicken much longer to break down the fibers, making it more tender.

As you can see, we paired our coq au vin with garlic-gruyere skin-on mashed red potatoes and fresh bell pepper, though noodles, rice, or anything starchy would work nicely on the side as well.


Overall, this meal was fantastic, well worth the 2 hours it took to prepare it. Extremely rich and filling, I ate to the point of discomfort, but would gladly do it again. Additionally, we had a fair amount of gravy left over, and as such Natasha is having what I term a "high-end French dip" sandwich for lunch today, roast beef with a side of sauce for dipping.

Though labor intensive, I am sure that you will enjoy this dish as much as we did, should you decide to make your own.

Bon appétit!

Scorecard
Taste: 4.9
Ingredient availability: 4.7
Cost: 4.5
Time: 1.5
Ease of Preparation: 3.5
Total: 19.1
Average: 3.82

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As Seen on TV

Cupini's

Those Neely's are full of shit. The hosts of "Road Tasted with the Neelys", Pat and Gina Neely went to Cupini's when filming in Kansas City. They proceeded to rave on in a Guy Fieri-esque manner about how good the shrimp ravioli is. Well, after trying it myself this past weekend, I'm calling shenanigans.

Though there are five Cupini's locations in the metro, we went to the one at 1809 Westport Road. We wanted to go to Jazz, but unfortunately, there was a 45-minute wait. As we were meeting some friends later at Twin City Tavern, we decided to give Cupini's, which is right next door, a shot. To be honest, it was extremely disappointing after seeing the Food Network hype it up so much.


Virtually empty on a Saturday night, the place looks a bit scuzzy. While the front room with it's deli and kitchen counter has character, the dining room, with it's scarred and dirty walls just looks depressing. As an Italian restaurant, it had the red and white checked tablecloths, which I believe must be required by law. Each table was then covered in a glass top, no doubt for easy cleaning, and underneath, enterprising entrepreneurs (is that redundant?) had tucked their business cards.

Offering a nice selection of Italian fare at decent prices, Natasha went with the seafood ravioli at the recommendation of Gina Neely, while I was in the mood for a sandwich. I chose the Italian Beef Panini. We also split an order of garlic cheese bread.

As I mentioned before, the place was practically deserted. As such, our food arrived rapidly. The seafood ravioli, served in a cream/marinara sauce mixture with red peppers and artichokes, was just okay, reminding me of nothing so much as an entree from the Olive Garden. That is, it had nothing separating it from any other Italian place in the country, rather boring, in fact.


However, as disappointing as that was, I wish I'd ordered the same. My Italian Beef panini was terrible. Comprised of tough, dry roast beef with a splash of aus jus, topped with pepperoncinis and cheese, I practically threw my jaw out of socket trying to chew through it. And on top of that, it was served on toasted French bread. Now I'm no panini expert, but aren't they supposed to be pressed? Hence the term "panini press", I would think.


At any rate, the highlight of the meal was clearly the garlic cheese bread, which was a huge piece of cheesy, garlicky, buttery goodness. Very good, but not enough to save the meal.


I had heard from friends that Cupini's is very hit or miss, but after this experience, it may be some time before I'm willing to try again.

Scorecard
Food: 1.5
Atmosphere: 2
Service: 3
Menu: 3
Price: 3
Total: 12.5
Average: 2.5

http://www.cupinis.com/

On the Boulevard

Taqueria Mexico

Ever since Torrero's on Shawnee Mission closed to make room for the new Stroud's, Natasha and I have been searching for a new favorite Mexican restaurant. On the recommendation of one of her co-workers, we decided to give Taqueria Mexico at 910 Southwest Blvd a shot.

Now as any Kansas Citian worth their salt knows, Southwest Blvd is the epicenter of Mexican culture in the metro area. Though we've tried several restaurants there prior, we had always been mildly disappointed. It's not that the food at Manny's isn't delicious, it's the fact that when I want Mexican food, I want authentic Mexican food, not this taco/burrito/fajita Tex-Mex crap. I want moles and Guadalajara beef. I want huevos rancheros and sopapilla. Thus, I tend to be always and forever disappointed. I was hoping for something different at Taqueria Mexico. Unfortunately, I was once again let down.

We went to eat on Friday night at the height of the dinner rush. The restaurant was busy, but not so busy that we had to wait for a table. We were rapidly shown to a table and handed menus, where we placed drink orders for a pair of margaritas on the rocks. We were also provided with the requisite chips and salsa. As we were hungry, this:

soon became this:

The chips were homemade, I believe, though nothing special, just like you would find at any Mexican place around the country. The same could be said for the salsa. Thin and watery, this tomato salsa was okay, but again, nothing unique or interesting.

We studied the menu as we ate the chips. It offered a lot of traditional choices, as well as a few new ones, at fairly reasonable prices. Soon enough a waiter brought our margaritas.


Looks good, right? For nearly $5 it seems huge. Think again


They tasted okay, but I admit I was a little miffed by the size.

After we placed our order, we sipped our drinks and munched on chips and salsa, while chatting amongst ourselves and observing our surroundings. The decor of this restaurant, while not out of line with Mexican places, seemed a little low brow. For example, our table was just a Formica four-top, but it had no tablecloth, and in fact, looked like it came from someone's 1978 kitchen. The same can be said for the chairs. Additionally, while the walls were covered in colorful murals, televisions were hung at intervals around the walls, tuned alternatively to the FC Barcelona-Basel Champion's League game, or to the Heat-Spurs game. As this clearly isn't a sports bar, the televisions seemed out of place.

We also watched the ways in which the servers worked. Though they were many and friendly, our experience was "too many cooks". It seems like one hand didn't know what the other was doing, as we were offered refills on our drinks just moments after another person went to get them. Not a big deal, however, because, as I said, they were all friendly and polite.

Before long our food arrived. As we stay away from the a la carte items, for the reasons I previously mentioned, Natasha opted for the pollo a parilla con camarones, or spiced chicken with shrimp. Served with the traditional sides of refried beans and Spanish rice, it was okay, though nothing spectacular. At $12, apparently "with shrimp" means including three small prawns. A bit disappointing, and thoroughly average overall.


As for me, I ordered molcajete a la Mexico, having no idea what that was, only that it sounded interesting. It turns out, that molcajete is a Mexican hot pot, served in a steaming dish made of lava rock. Featuring chicken, steak, an Anaheim pepper, cactus, shrimp, and grilled green onion, all topped with a spicy red sauce, it was an interesting change of pace from other Mexican dishes I've had.


The sauce truly was spicy, and soon my forehead was beaded with sweat. The only downside of this was that everything was overwhelmed by the sauce itself. I could tell the shrimp from the cactus, but only because the texture was different. The flavor was good, but really just too strong.

My dish was served with a side platter featuring Spanish rice, lettuce and avocado, plus soupy beans that were probably the best thing I ate there. Oh, the warm tortillas that came with our entrees were also delicious, though not exceptional from any other Mexican restaurant.


Though our meal up to this point was far from great, I had nothing major to complain about until we were brought our to-go boxes. Midway through shoveling my leftovers into the styrofoam container, Natasha pointed to the side of my box where a large black hair was clinging. Mmmmm... appetizing.

At this point, I just wanted to pay and get out. Our bill came to $43, not terrible for two entrees and four margaritas, but not great. Add $5 for a tip, and we got out of there just shy of $50.

In closing, while Taqueria Mexico isn't terrible, it's not the authentic Mexican restaurant for which we've been looking. While I wouldn't be opposed to eating there again (minus the hair, I hope), like conquistadors searching for El Dorado, our search for the best Mexican restaurant will continue...

Scorecard
Food: 3.2
Atmosphere: 2.8
Service: 1.5 (thanks to the hair)
Menu: 3.5
Price: 3
Total: 14
Average: 2.8

The Biggest Burrito You've Ever Seen

Psst! Psst! Yeah, You! Wanna know a secret? You want to know how to get the biggest burrito you've ever seen at Chipotle for the same price as a regular burrito? It can be done. You've just got to know the trick. Don't believe me? Take a look at this beauty...


See, I heard about this from a guy at work, who knows a guy, who knows another guy, who used to be friends with an assistant manager at Chipotle, and here's the trick: You can ask for double anything on your burrito for the same price, except meat. That means to get this behemoth which barely fits in the tortilla you should ask for double rice, double beans, two salsas and extra cheese. To make it even larger, you can get fajita vegetables added for no additional charge. The only thing that'll cost you more money is guac or extra meat. Yep, that's a man's man's burrito for the same price, guaranteed to sate the biggest hunger...



Thanks to Los Auchardes for the tip.

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Don't Look Them in the Eyes

Whole Fish with Garlic Sauce

Lately things have been a bit tight monetarily around my house. As a result, we haven't been going out to eat so much. However, this is no reason why we shouldn't eat well. In fact, if you have any amount of culinary skill at all, you can often whip up something both beautiful and delicious for a fraction of the cost of eating out. This recipe, a variation of a Thai recipe, is just such a dish.

Serves: 2-4
Prep Time: 20 min

Fish
1 whole fish, approx. 1 lb, cleaned and gutted (I used Rainbow Trout)
1/2 c flour
4 c oil

Sauce
6 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 large green bell pepper, chopped
1/2 large red bell pepper, chopped
1 small white onion, chopped
1/8 c parsley, chopped
3 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp rice wine (sake)
1/4 c fish sauce
2 Tbsp sugar
1/4 c basil

- Heat the oil for frying.
- Make 3 slashes to the bone on each side of the fish.
- Cover it all over in flour.
- Fry the fish in a large pan or wok, being careful not to splash the hot oil when you add the fish. Cook for 6-7 minutes per side or until flaky.
- Remove fish from pan, discard oil.
- Add olive oil to pan and heat.
- Add garlic, peppers, onion, parsley, sake, fish sauce and sugar. Cook 5 minutes.
- Add basil, stir, and pour sauce over fish.
- Serve with a side of rice if desired.

This dish is both simple and tasty, a good meal when you're pressed for time. Whole fish can be bought relatively cheap from any good meat counter, and everything else is readily available.

Oh, and a little tip, the fish cheeks are the best part.

Scorecard
Taste: 4.5
Ingredient availability: 3
Cost: 3
Time: 4.5
Ease of Preparation: 4.3
Total: 19.3
Average: 3.86

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